Scars on our Hearts
by Liz Night
Summary: Castiel spent several of his childhood years living beside his best friend, Dean Winchester. After a rocky parting, Castiel comes back years later. He's scared to see the boy who'd once been his best friend. It only gets worse when he realizes that the man, who is still angry with him, works in the same school that Castiel just got a job at. Alternate Universe.
1. Chapter 1

Well, this is something I've spent a little over half a semester writing when I had time. All but a few final scenes and one I have to go back and do are completely finished. It's not especially long and I plan to update either bi- or tri-weekly.

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Castiel glanced down as his stomach growled. He remembered eating when he'd first gotten into town, but that had been that morning and the light through the window was steadily fading.

He glanced around the kitchen. The room was a mess of half-empty boxes and kitchen supplies strewn on top of the counters. And that wasn't including the food that he had yet to buy from the grocery store. He really had no choice.

Castiel stood, groaning as his back cracked and complained after not moving for some time. His stomach growled again.

The rest could wait an hour or two while he got something to eat. He took his keys from the counter and locked the door behind them.

Lawrence, Kansas was hot even at dusk in the middle of August. The days were long as summer was drawing to a close. Castiel opened the door to his little hybrid and sat down, the edge of the seat burning the skin behind his knees which his shorts had left bare.

As he drove through his new neighbourhood, he recognized some of the houses and businesses. Castiel wasn't exactly new to Lawrence, but it had been over a decade since he'd last set foot within the town limits. He remembered far more than he'd thought he would.

For his dinner, Castiel finally chose the bar that his friend had introduced him to when he was fourteen. The Roadhouse. Of course, the owner, Ellen, had let none of them drink back then, but the food was like nowhere else.

He was sitting at a table, glancing through his messages on his phone when he heard the server step over to him.

"Have you made a decision yet?" Castiel looked up and did a double take. The man in front of him looked so familiar, but it couldn't be the youngest Winchester. The waiter shifted and Castiel looked back down at the menu this time instead of his phone.

"A b-burger and beer are fine, thanks," Castiel stammered, tongue tripping in his surprise.

There was a scratching of a pen and the man muttered something and left the table. Castiel stared down at the table. It had been a decade! Surely the Winchester brothers had left for college!

The door opened once more and a group of men came in and sat at the bar. Ellen, behind the counter with her daughter, Jo, talked with them fondly. Especially one in particular.

There was no mistaking Dean Winchester. His hair was cut shorter and he was much taller, but he spoke and acted the same.

Castiel was tempted to bolt from the bar, but it would draw too much attention to himself. So, instead he stayed at his table and ducked his head whenever Dean seemed to look around, which wasn't often.

Sam (now that Castiel knew it had to be him) came back over with his dinner.

"Sammy!"

As he set the plate down, Sam glanced at Castiel with a smile and then looked up at Dean.

"It's Sam, not Sammy," he told him long-sufferingly. "And Ellen told me not to give you any more free beer, so don't even ask."

"Sammy," the elder Winchester whined. (Castiel could hardly believe his ears and ducked his chin to hide his smile.) "Why do you always think I want something—?"

"Because you do," Sammy deadpanned.

Dean snorted. "For your information, I wanted to know if you and Jess were coming to dinner Sunday night."

"Yeah," Sam replied as he walked away from Castiel.

The man relaxed as the brothers' attentions moved away from him. He ate quietly, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible.

Sam had grown. When Castiel had been their neighbour, Sam had been much smaller than everyone else his age. Now, he towered over nearly everyone in the bar. The quiet boy had matured and found confidence, though Castiel noticed he was still quiet, but that might have been because he compared him to his brother.

Dean…he was the same, yet so very different. He acted so much as he did when they were kids, always the centre of whatever group he was a part of. He'd filled out, muscles apparent from across the room. His hair was shorter and lighter than it had ever been.

Castiel swallowed, relieved that he'd been able to finish his meal without being noticed. He left his table and walked over to Jo, who was sitting behind the register. She eyed him oddly as he paid. After she handed him his receipt, Cas turned to leave.

"Jimmy?"

Castiel cursed his habit of responding to his twin's name. "Y-yes?"

Dean smiled. He'd walked away from the other men he'd come with and stood only a few feet from Castiel. "It's Dean Winchester. We were neighbours about ten years ago. I thought it was you."

Castiel nodded, flush rising up his neck.

"How's your family?" Dean asked, shifting to lean against the bar. He sipped from the bottle in his hand.

"They're doing well," Castiel said, trying to imitate his brother. "They're all back east."

"Why'd you come back here?" Dean asked. "Not much has changed here. We're still in the middle of nowhere."

"I have a job here," Castiel admitted. "I've wanted to come back since we left."

Dean's smile grew. He brushed the hand that wasn't holding the bottle through his hair. "What've you been doing the past few years?"

"I went to school," Castiel answered. "Graduated with a degree in Literary English. What about you?"

Dean shrugged. "I stayed in Lawrence for the most part. Took a few courses at a community college an got a decent job. Sam graduated from Stanford last May. He's going to start law school at the University of Kansas in a few weeks."

"Your family must be proud."

Dean looked away. "Mom passed away," he said after a few moments. "Dad…he's getting there."

"I'm sorry," Castiel said. "I—"

Dean shook his head. "You haven't been here for a decade. How would you know?"

Castiel nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

"So how's your twin?"

He nearly bit his tongue. "He's doing well. We went to the same university."

Dean nodded, eyes far away.

"I-I've got to go," Castiel said, shifting his weight. "Still unpacking."

"Yeah. Of course," Dean replied and held out his hand. "It's good to see you again."

"You as well," Castiel said and grasped Dean's hand with his own. The palm brushing his was warm and calloused. Castiel suppressed a shiver as memories attempted to push to the forefront of his mind.

He quickly said goodbye and left, heart pounding. His hand shook as he unlocked the door on the driver's side. He sat down and shut the door behind him.

Castiel knew he'd eventually see Dean Winchester, but he hadn't thought that it would be the first night he spent in Lawrence. Dean thought he was Jimmy. He knew this was going to come back to bite him in the ass.

* * *

Dean looked at the yard next door from the window in his room. He'd so far seen an adult, a teenager, and a little girl about Sammy's age. He'd caught glimpses of two others, but hadn't really been able to see them.

"Dean?"

The boy turned from the window. His little brother stood by the door. "What, Sammy?"

"What are you doing?" he asked, crossing the room.

Dean turned back as his brother joined him. "They're our new neighbours. I'm trying to see if they have kids our age."

"Have you seen any?" Sammy asked. Two dark heads Dean hadn't seen yet dashed down the steps.

"There's a red-headed girl about your age," Dean answered. The two boys stopped by their father, who was holding the girl. "I think those two might be my age."

They watched as the father set the girl down and the children ran into the house. The man began to help the movers carry their belongings in.

"Dean?" their own mother called. "Sammy? Where are you?"

"Up here, Momma," Sam called. They heard her come up the stairs.

"Are you spying on the new neighbours?" she asked as she knelt behind them. Dean glanced away to see a smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled.

"What do you say we take them a pie tomorrow and we can get to know them?" she whispered conspiratorially.

"Can I pick the flavour?" Dean asked and snuggled closer to his mom as she laughed.

* * *

Please don't forget to drop a line! This fandom is still kinda new to me!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you, everyone, for showing interest! This was just a little pet project for a few weeks!

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Two

Castiel spent the next three days after seeing Dean unpacking and preparing for his first day. It was with butterflies in his stomach that he drove to the high school he'd spent the majority of his time for two years. He noticed it looked much the same as it had then as he stepped out and locked the car.

He wiped suddenly sweaty hands on his slacks. He'd only gotten his teaching licence a year before. This was his first job in a school. His twin had spent the better part of two hours talking Castiel down from a panic the night before.

The hall was warm and Castiel could hear the murmur of voices. He forced himself to start walking down the hall. Signs were posted on the lockers to show the way to the staff meeting in the auditorium. The door was propped open, a fan blowing air into the large room.

Castiel stepped in and looked at his fellow teachers. Most were dressed in casual clothes, many even wearing shorts. They sat or stood in clumps, discussing their summers and other things he couldn't hear. He knew he looked out of place in his white shirt and black trousers. He sat down alone, unsure of what to do.

"Jimmy?"

With a sense of déjà vu, Castiel looked up to once more see Dean Winchester. The other man grinned.

"I should have known you'd be working here," he said as he sat down beside the dark haired man. "Looks like we'll be co-workers."

Castiel's heart began to beat faster. "You're a teacher?" he asked, a lump in his throat.

Dean nodded. "Auto shop."

"Hello, everyone," the principal of the school called. "Shut up, you idjits!" The staff laughed as they found their seats to listen. (Castiel was surprised to see that he was the same principal that had been there when he'd gone to the school.) Robert "Bobby" Singer looked out over the sea of people. "We're back again to deal with these brats."

"There's a few new folks among us," he continued and the lump in Castiel's throat grew larger. "Y'all can call me Bobby when we're not around the brats. Now, stand up when I call your name." Bobby read through four different names before he read Castiel's full name..

As Castiel stood up, bracing trembling hands on the seat in front of him, he saw Dean stiffen and the man's gaze harden.

Bobby told them to sit down and Castiel slumped back in his seat. He looked down at his lap, afraid to look at Dean.

"Castiel?" the man hissed. Castiel glanced up to see his eyes blazing. "You lied to me?"

"Winchester."

Dean reluctantly looked up at their principal. Bobby was looking between them.

"Since you're so eager to talk to Novak, you can show him around and help him set up his room," the older man told him. "Be quiet while I'm speaking, boy."

Dean jerked hi head in a nod and refused to look at Castiel again. His body thrummed in anger.

Castiel bit the inside of his cheek. This was his entire fault. They used to be best friends and he'd made one stupid mistake that ruined everything.

The instant Bobby finished speaking, Dean left and pulled the man aside. Castiel stood and left the room. He'd find his class by himself. He didn't need Dean Winchester to force himself to be around him.

After taking three wrong turns and doubling back, Castiel found his room. He opened the door and turned the light on. Chairs stood on the students' desks. A laptop was atop his cleared desk. The room smelled of cleaning supplies and the floor was slick with a new layer of wax. The windows on the other side of the room let bright sunlight in.

He heard a footfall behind him. Dean stood there, jaw tight. "Do you need help?"

Castiel shook his head.

Dean jerked his head once in a nod, before turning away to leave. Castiel turned to close the door so he could go back to his car and get the supplies he had brought with him.

"Why'd you lie about who you are?"

Castiel turned his head. Dean had paused, back still to him. "I didn't know what to do. Last time we saw each other you hated me."

Dean turned his head and Cas saw his jaw clench and unclench. "We were changing, Cas. I was angry, but your family left before I could talk to you. I think…sometime we can be friends again, but I'm still angry. A lot has happened since you left Lawrence. We're not the same people and I'm not sure if we still fit into each other's lives."

Castiel watched as the man walked away. He balled his fists and turned back to the classroom, shutting the door behind him. He crouched down, back to the wall, head in his hands. He knew he had been making a mistake that day, years ago, when he'd asked to talk to Dean. He'd been Castiel's first friend outside of his family. As the years had passed after the Novaks had left Lawrence, he had never found someone who'd made him feel the same way that Dean had.

* * *

The next day had been a Saturday, so neither of the Winchester brothers had to go to school.

They walked beside their mother to the neighbours' front door. Mary kept glancing down, making sure the apple pie that Dean was carrying was still in one piece. She rang the doorbell and reminded her sons to smile.

One of the boys Dean's age answered the door. He stood half behind the door, staring at the three of them shyly.

"Hello," Mary smiled warmly. "I'm Mary Winchester and these are my sons, Dean and Sam."

The boy simply stared up at them with large, blue eyes.

"Castiel? Who's at the door?" a man called, coming in from a room just off the hall. He saw the Winchesters. "Hi,, I'm Michael Novak. This is my son, Castiel. He's a little shy with strangers."

Mary smiled and nudged Dean forward. "I was just telling Castiel, I'm Mary Winchester and these are my two boys, Dean and Sam. We wanted to welcome your family to the neighbourhood."

"Thank you," Michael told them as Dean gave him the pie. "I'd introduce my other children, but they're unpacking upstairs."

"It's alright," Mary replied. "We don't want to bother you. My boys were eager to meet some kids their own age in the neighbourhood."

"My three youngest are about their age. We should get them together sometime," Michael said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder.

As the two adults bid their goodbyes, Dean looked directly at Castiel and smiled as he waved goodbye. He caught the boy blushing before the door shut.

Dean ran home before his mom and brother so he could get the other pie that she had made out. Maybe this time he could convince Mary to let him have a slice for lunch.

* * *

Thanks for reading! The planned update schedule is for Sundays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. I couldn't make yesterday for personal reasons, but I plan to keep Friday! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave a comment!


	3. Chapter 3

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Three

Castiel woke without the nerves of the day before. He quickly showered, dressed, and poured a cup of coffee before heading out the door.

Lawrence, Kansas had changed very little. There were many places that Castiel passed that looked just the same as they did when he was growing up. His trip down memory lane ended at the high school once more. He stared up at the brick building, nervous once more.

There was a high chance that he wouldn't see Dean at all that day, or even when the students started the new term. Their classes were at opposite ends of the building. Castiel had no doubt that Dean would stay as far from the English hall at almost any cost.

No, the reason Castiel was nervous was that it was the day that he would meet many of his students. This would be the day that would set the tone for the first day of classes and the rest of the year. He knew there were many things that could go wrong. Castiel was a young man who looked younger than he really was as well. If the parents did not respect him, neither would his students.

He entered the school and walked up to his room, greeting his fellow teachers that he saw. Finally, he set down his half-full cup of coffee on the desk. He looked around the room, checking to see that everything was in place. His stack of syllabi sat beside the laptop under the lists of his students. He sat down, fingertips tapping against his thigh.

A knock at the door made him turn his head. Sam Winchester stood in the doorway, sheepish smile on his face.

"Castiel?"

He stood from his seat. "Sam? What are you doing here?"

The taller man stepped into the room. "Dean told me that you were working here. He wasn't too rude, was he?"

Castiel shook his head. "Nothing I didn't deserve."

Sam's gaze softened. "Cas," he chided, "Dean's a dick."

Castiel snorted, then widened his eyes, shocked at himself. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Don't worry about it," Sam said, shaking his head. "Truthfully, a lot's happened since you moved. I think that Dean, for some reason, blamed it all on you."

Castiel looked down, biting his cheek. He looked up once more when he heard people talking out in the hall.

"Hey, I came to ask if you'd like to have lunch together and catch up. There's a diner down the street that you might remember," Sam said, shifting his feet.

"I'd like that," Castiel replied.

"Well, I'll leave you to your work," Sam said as a teenager and her parents looked into the room. "I'll come by at half-past twelve."

Castiel nodded to him as the family came in and Sam ducked out.

There was a steady stream of students and their families throughout the morning. Castiel's nerves quickly left to be replaced with boredom. He found himself repeating pleasantries and what the class would be like.

As he was finishing speaking with a woman and her son (who was obviously as bored as his teacher), Casitel glanced at the door to see Sam waiting. Castiel walked with them as they left the room and locked the door behind him.

"Hello, Sam," he said, putting the key in his pocket. They started walking together.

"How's your morning been?" Sam asked with a smirk.

"I'm repeatedly saying the same thing several times an hour," he replied. "I'm bored to death."

Sam laughed. "Dean tried to do that," he jerked his head in the direction of Castiel's room, "his first year. Now, he leaves the syllabi near the door and works on the cars down there."

"How long has he been here?" Castiel asked as they left the building.

"I managed to convince him to go to college when I was in high school, though he insisted on community college," Sam told him, shrugging. "He got his degree in two years and the school needed someone to teach auto tech. The man retiring recommended Dean and he's been doing it ever since. This'll be his fourth year.

"Castiel," Sam paused, uncomfortable, "Dean never told me what happened between the two of you. It can't be that bad—"

"You just said that you didn't know what happened," Castiel interrupted. "You don't know how bad it was."

"It couldn't be that bad," Sam said louder, "or Dean would have bitched about it. Whatever it was, he didn't tell anyone."

They reached the diner and Sam held the door open for the older man. They sat in a booth away from the other patrons. A waitress took their orders and delivered their drinks before walking away again.

"Cas," Sam said hesitantly. "Do you still want to be Dean's friend?"

He stirred his tea with his straw. "Dean was the best friend I've ever had. I've missed him since I left."

"Then don't give up on him," Sam said gently. "He needed you a decade ago and he still needs you. You were one of the few who could keep his head on straight."

"Sam," Cas asked. "What happened?"

The younger man slumped in his seat. "A year after your family moved there was a fire. It was in the middle of the night and Dad woke us up, told us to leave the house. We ran and Dad went back in to help Mom, but it was too late," Sam's voice hushed and he frowned. "Mom was trapped. The firemen dragged him out seconds before the house was engulfed.

"Dad…he lost the love of his life. If it hadn't been for Bobby Singer chewing him out and reminding Dad that he had us to worry about we'd probably be orphans now. But ever since that night, Dean took care of the both of us. He's the one who made sure we had enough to eat. He took a job as soon as he could and wouldn't let me help.

"Cas, he tells me he's okay, but I know he's not. He has friends from work, a few drinking buddies, several girls that he's dated, and Dad and me, but he hasn't been himself in years," Sam leaned forward, hands folded together. "Honestly, I'm worried about him."

The waitress gave them their meal and walked away again. Castiel poured ketchup on his fries, trying to process everything.

"Why do you trust me so much?" he asked, hands gripped together in his lap. "How do you know that I won't do the same thing I did last time?"

Sam grinned. "Yesterday was the first time in ten years that I've heard Dean talk about you. Yes, he was angry, but I think he was also relieved. He probably won't admit it, but he missed you."

Castiel nodded and Sam changed the subject. They chatted together until it was time for Castiel to return to his class. He insisted on paying half the bill before he began his walk back to the high school. He was close to the building, sweat beading on his forehead when a familiar black car passed by him headed up to the school.

* * *

Dean ran out of his house the next Saturday, Sam close on his heels. The sun shone down, the day already warming from the early summer heat. They stopped at the edge of the yard, laughing. Their dad had the day off and pushed for the boys to spend the day at the nearby park so that he could have some time alone with his wife. Sam didn't really know why they were laughing, Dean knew. He was still too young to understand grown up stuff.

Dean glanced up and caught a glimpse of movement at the neighbour's door. He watched, Sam noticing and following his gaze, until he saw two dark heads look through the window beside the door before disappearing again.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean started, "come on."

Sammy followed his older brother up to the sidewalk, the steps, and up to the front door. He knocked quickly and took a step back.

There were footsteps, then Michael answered the door. He looked down at the brothers with a smile. "Hello."

"Hi," Dean said, smiling nervously. "We're going to the park down the street. My brother and I wanted to ask if your kids wanted to go. There'll be a lot of kids there and a few parents, too."

"Let me ask them," Michael said, opening the door. "Why don't you come in?"

Dean nodded and stepped in. Sam caught the hem of his shirt and held on, staring up at the tall man through his lashes. Dean, used to Sam being bashful, paid him no mind.

Michael shut the door behind them and motioned them into the room off the hall, to sit on the sofa there.

"Gabriel," he called, "Jimmy, Cas, Anna!"

The little red-headed girl was the first to come in, clutching a bear. The twins quietly appeared from a different door, one hiding behind the other. Finally, the teenage boy came down the stairs. "What?" he whined.

"Dean and Sam," Michael nodded towards the two boys, "Have invited you to the park with them."

"Are there other kids there?" Anna asked.

Dean nodded. "There's a whole group of girls your age."

She nodded and stepped closer to her father.

"I want to go," one of the twins (the one that wasn't shy) said. His twin seemed to shrink in on himself.

"Why should I go?" Gabriel asked, bored. "It's probably just a bunch of little kids."

"Because I have to set up my office and I'd feel better if you kept an eye on your siblings," Michael told him. They stared each other down in a battle of wills, until Gabriel glanced away and slumped against the wall.

Dean and Sam looked at the last of the Novak children who hadn't said anything. The boy blushed and quickly nodded. Gabriel opened the front door and waited as Anna and Sam went through. Dean started to follow, but stopped when he didn't hear footsteps behind him.

The more talkative of the two boys was looking back at his twin. Dean could just see the shy boy's face. His blue eyes were large and stood out from his face. Dean watched him nod and they followed all the other children.

When they reached the park, the quiet twin kept separate from the other children, but shook his head when his brother tried to join him. The boy sat beside Gabriel (who was reading a comic) looking bored and miserable as he toyed with the grass beneath him.

"Dean." He turned from watching Castiel and faced his brother. The basketball he held almost didn't fit in his arms. "Aren't you going to play?"

Dean looked back at the shy kid an then to his brother. "Maybe in a while. It's too hot to be running around."

Sammy grinned, knowing the real reason his brother was leaving the blacktop. He returned to the game he was playing with the other boys as his brother sprawled out on the cool grass beside a shocked Castiel.

"Hey," Dean said, staring up at the clouds drifting slowly across the sky. "I'm Dean."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the boy wrap his arms around his thin knees.

"My teachers always say I'm obsten-obstinate," Dean continued. (He didn't know it, but Gabriel glanced down at the blond boy with a hidden smile as he slipped a lollipop into his mouth.) "I think she means I'm stubborn," he turned his head and looked up at Castiel. "I'm not going to give up. I'll at least get your name."

Dean looked back up at the sky and closed his eyes, enjoying the sun's heat. He felt the body beside him uncurl and lay down beside him.

"I'm Castiel," he whispered.

Dean's smile was almost as blinding as the sun he's shut his eyes against.

* * *

Alright, that's it for today! Hope you've enjoyed it! Leave a comment to tell me how I'm doing! Now I've got to get, because I have errands to run!


	4. Chapter 4

Any of you who've seen Nim's Island, what do you think of its interpretation of a writer? Sorry. Random thoughts. It happens.

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Four

As soon as the last student left the room, Cas shut the door and slumped in his seat.

It was only Wednesday, the third day of the new school year. But, already, Cas…he was weary and frustrated.

Many of the boys wouldn't listen to him and mocked him when they thought he couldn't see. He covered his face with his hands. Lawrence hadn't changed.

"Third day and already giving up?"

Castiel jerked straight up in his seat, hands falling into his lap. Dean stood in the doorway, grinning. He pushed away from the wall and shut the door behind him. He spun a chair around and straddled it, arms folded on the back. "What's up?"

Cas flopped back again. "I thought you wanted me to stay away from you."

Dean shrugged. "I want Sammy to stop bitching at me more."

Cas snorted and leaned his head back with his eyes closed.

"And I knew my first week sucked. Thought you might need to talk."

Cas smiled. "Talking and a bottle of bourbon sound great." The silence seemed to ring as he realised what he'd said. He jerked forward, eyes wide and hands splayed in front of him. "I-I didn't mean! I know you're not! I have the bourbon at home and was thinking about it earlier."

"Cas," Dean stopped him. "Dude, chill. It's cool." Cas sat back again, uncomfortable. It was quiet for several moments. "So, not in Lawrence two weeks and already wen to the liquor store?"

Cas shook his head. "No, it was a going away gift from Jimmy and his wife."

"Jimmy got married?"

He nodded. "Her name's Amelia. They met in college and have been together ever since. They're expecting a child in December."

"You'll have to tell them I said congratulations," Dean told him. "Now, tell me what's bothering you."

Cas took a pen from his desk and rolled it in his hand. "It's just similar to the problems I had back when I was a student here."

He didn't' see it, but Dean's gaze softened with understanding. "They won't respect you because they think you're gay?"

Cas nodded miserably. "I didn't even tell anyone. They could just tell," he shrugged and sat forward. "At least it's only a few of the boys in each class. Most of the other—Dean!"

Dean continued to flip through the class rosters he had snagged off the desk. His smile grew more and more wry as he saw each page. He knew exactly which students Cas was talking about. He turned back to the page that had been open when he first saw it.

"I have all of them in my classes," Dean admitted. "I'll talk to them and get them to straighten out."

"Thanks," Cas said quietly. His cheeks were warm. "I'm sorry to bother you."

"Cas," he admonished. "You could handle them. They just know and trust me. You can't be expected to handle everything they throw at you."

Cas nodded, face still warm.

Dean rapped his knuckles on the edge of the desk and stood, spinning the chair back to its place. "I'll leave you to get ready for your next class then. Some students like to eat in the classroom off the shop and they're probably waiting for me to get back and unlock the door."

"Thanks for coming by," Cas said, standing and following Dean to the door.

"Don't worry about it," Dean shrugged. "I might have to join you and that bourbon, though."

Dean walked away, leaving Cas gaping at his back.

* * *

Dean hadn't been kidding when he'd told Cas he wouldn't give up. When the Novaks started at the public schools the twins were placed in his class. While most of the students approached Jimmy, Dean would drag Castiel off to play.

Their teacher spoke to dean after she'd seen him do that several times. She told him that Castiel probably didn't like Dean monopolizing his company. She'd been promptly shut up when Castiel had come over and (in their language of looks and gestures) asked Dean if he wanted to swing. She didn't bother them again for the rest of the year.

A couple months after they moved in, Jimmy and Castiel went to a sleepover at Dean and Sammy's house. Gabriel and Anna had been invited, but neither had wanted to.

The four of them got along well and played games well into the night. They were even having a Mortal Combat tournament when they ran out of snacks. Sam and Jimmy had only just started their first round.

"Come on, Cas," Dean said as he stood up. "Mom left some stuff out in the kitchen for us."

The two boys left the room and went down the hall. A light was still on in his parents' room, Dean noticed as they passed it and went down the stairs.

The light above the sink had been left on so it wasn't hard to find the snacks that Mary had left out on two plates.

"I'll get a tray to put the plates on. You get the Kool-Aid," Dean told his friend as he headed to the pantry. He was reaching for the tray when he heard a thump an a splash from the kitchen. He grabbed the tray and quickly went back.

Castiel was sitting on the floor in a pool of the orange drink. His cheeks were flaming and he stared up at Dean with wide eyes. "I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. I slipped on my pyjama bottoms."

"Dude," Dean said as he reached down to take the boy's hand. "It's okay. Accidents happen. Go get cleaned up and change into a pair of my pyjamas. Second drawer down on the right."

Dean pulled Castiel up and pushed the boy toward the stairs. He turned away as Castiel went up the stairs. He took the mop out and began cleaning up.

"Dean," his father whispered as he walked in. "I heard a sound. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Dean said as he wrung the mop out in a bucket. "Cas slipped and spilt the Kool-Aid. I'll clean it up."

"I'll get it," John told him, taking the end of the mop. "Take your sweets upstairs and try to keep everyone quiet. Your mom's asleep."

"Thanks, Dad," Dean smiled and carefully put the plates on the tray. As he passed, John plucked a cookie from it.

"I'll bring something up for you boys to drink when I'm done," he said from around a bite of his cookie.

Dean thanked him again and quietly went upstairs. When he got up to their playroom, Sam had just won the third match. He shushed them and started to look for another game to play.

The door opened and Dean looked up to see Castiel slip in. He grinned at the dark haired boy. Cas was wearing his Captain America long-sleeved night shirt and Iron Man shorts. His cheeks began to blush again.

"Like the Avengers, Cas?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Castiel whispered, crossing an arm in front of him.

"Remind me to show you my comics," Dean told him. "Captain America's awesome."

By the time John came up with the fresh pitcher of Kool-Aid, the boys were asleep in their blanket fort. He put the pitcher down beside the cookies and snuck another. He walked out with a smile on his face.

Dean snuffled in his sleep and curled up beside Cas with his head on his shoulder

Throughout that year Dean and Cas had grown to become the best of friends. They often weren't seen without the presence of the other.

Even when Dean began getting involved in sports in middle school and Castiel had been singled out by most of the jocks as a freak they remained best friends.

Of course, like any other two people they would argue, but before the end of the day one would be at the other's house apologizing (usually Dean).

They only really started having problems in their friendship when they started their freshman year of high school.

* * *

As always, leave a comment and tell me how it's doing! I've had a lot of fun with this and we're now half-way through!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to post this last night. I've once again been kicked off the internet at home.

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Five

Castiel didn't know what Dean had said to the boys in his class, but whatever it was worked. They remained quiet in class, even if they never stopped glaring at him.

But Dean rarely visited and most of the other teachers that taught near him were much older. Occasionally, Bobby would come by to see how he was doing in his own gruff way. Sam visited him once more before he was too busy with law school to do much of anything more.

Jimmy called every few days and Castiel found himself lying to his brother. He was lonely, but knew that he would be no better with his twin. As much as he loved Jimmy and his wife, they were newlyweds. With the baby on the way they needed the time to themselves.

Castiel began accepting extra duties as he had nothing else to do. He watched students during study hall, helped with tutoring after classes, kept an eye out during lunch, among several others.

It was during a lunch a few weeks into term that Castiel experienced the first fight of the new year. He'd just bought his lunch when he heard raised voices.

Two boys stood facing each other, faces twisted into snarls. Castiel recognized them both from one of his morning classes. Both of them were among the students that had given him trouble.

He looked back at the woman running the register and she nodded as he handed her his tray. She placed it out of the way as he walked away.

Castiel had been the first teacher to take notice and the closest one to them. A few other members of the staff, including Principal Singer, were making their way through the crowded cafeteria to them.

"Hey," Castiel said, voice low and firm. "Is there a problem here?"

There was no warning as one of the boys shoved the other back several feet. The fight, now physical, moved toward Castiel. He forced himself between them, the little good it did. They struck out at each other still, hitting him more than their opponent. He gasped as a fist hit his skull so hard that his ears rang.

Suddenly, he found himself standing on his own, no longer held up by the two boys. He staggered to the side and fell to his knee, vision swimming.

An arm wrapped around his shoulders, steadying him. He leaned into a firm chest and closed his eyes, nausea rising.

"Cas?" he heard. "Cas, you okay?"

He began to nod, but stopped as bile rose in his throat.

"That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do," the voice said and Cas opened bleary eyes to see Dean (worried?) staring down at him. "It would have been a better idea to go a few rounds with one of those werewolves the girls are obsessed with."

Castiel moaned, more embarrassed than in pain.

"Can you walk?"

He shook his head slightly, afraid that if he moved too much he'd throw up.

"Alright, I know you're not going to like this, but it's not as humiliating as waiting for a wheelchair. Try not to puke," Dean said. Cas opened his eyes to see what he was talking about as Dean put an arm beneath his knees. "I won't drop you," he whispered, as he stood, Castiel in his arms.

Castiel struggled weakly, until he felt like he was about to be sick. The only thing that would be more embarrassing than being carried out with all the students watching, would be to get sick while it was happening.

He turned his face into Dean's shirt, trying to will the world into stilling. He knew he wasn't that small. He should have, but Dean didn't show any trouble carrying him. Despite his current injuries, Castiel couldn't quite swallow down the attraction that fact made him feel.

Finally, Dean set him gently down on a cot in the nurse's office.

The nurse, a woman who had only started working at the school right before Castiel had left, Ms Mosely sat down beside him.

"Hello, Mr Novak," she said as she looked into his pupils with her flashlight. "Do you remember me?"

"Yes, Ms Mosely," he answered.

"Please, it's Missouri," she replied and shut the light off. As he blinked spots away, she asked him several questions. Finally, she nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answers.

"Okay, Castiel, I think you need some time to rest. I'll set up a sub with Bobby for the rest of your classes," she told him. "Dean here will take you home and keep an eye on you."

Cas sat up, fighting the nausea, and swung his legs off the cot. "It's okay," he said when he was sure that he wouldn't be sick if he opened his mouth. "I can go back to classes. I'm fine."

"No, you aren't," Dean said, the first time that he had spoken since they'd come into the room. "Do what Missouri says."

"The boy finally has some sense," she said as she turned to the cabinet. Castiel glanced up at Dean to see him hiding a smile. Missouri turned back with two little white pills and a small cup of water. "Take these. I'll get the subs to cover both of your classes."

"Thank you," Castiel whispered as he accepted the medicine.

"Do you think you're okay to walk?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel nodded and stood carefully. His head was still spinning, though it had slowed. He took a step forward, breathing through his nose.

Dean's hand fell on his back, steadying him. "My car's just outside the shop down the hall. It's not far."

Cas nodded and staggered down the hall, Dean beside him. When they reached the door to the auto shop, Castiel's head was spinning and bile had risen in his throat.

"Wait here," Dean said, making Castiel sit down. Dean jogged out of the shop. Cas closed his eyes, trying to breathe through his nose. He heard a car start loudly and get closer. Cas opened his eyes to see a long, black car back into the bay closest to him. Dean parked the car and jumped out.

"Come on," he said, helping him up into the car. "Do you mind if I take you to my home?" Dean asked. "That way, if you need anything, I'll know exactly where it is."

"It's okay," Castiel replied, closing his eyes again as Dean drove away. He was relieved that he didn't have to give directions to his home anyways.

Dean tapped his hands against the wheel to the beat of the song playing in the tape deck.

"Wasn't this your dad's car?" Castiel asked to break the uneasy silence.

"Yeah," Dean said, slumping back into his seat. "After Mom…Dad had too many memories of her with this car. He gave her to me a few years after he quit driving her. She's actually a big part of the reason I got a job at the school."

"How did that happen, by the way?" he asked, curious.

Castiel could hear the smile in Dean's voice. "The Impala needed a lot of work and, while I was taking courses in community college, one of my professors heard about her. He got me interested in not only training to be a mechanic, but also getting a teaching licence."

"When I graduated, the school was looking for an auto shop teacher and Bobby took me on after seeing my baby," Dean finished.

The car came to a stop and dean took the keys out of the ignition. We're here," Dean said as he opened his door.

Castiel opened his eyes and looked out. And his stomach promptly dropped to his toes. Dean opened his door an waited by it for him to get out.

They were parked in front of the house that Castiel had once called home. It looked much the same, though the yard was much more trimmed and the house had a fairly new coat of paint.

Yet, as startling as seeing his old home was, it was what was beside it that shocked Castiel speechless. Or, rather, the lack thereof. Dean's old home was simply gone. All that was left was an empty lot, stone cracking from the many seasons it had been exposed to. The yard surrounding it was overgrown.

"Come on," Dean said, looking away from Castiel. "You need to rest."

Castiel nodded woodenly and barely noticed as Dean handed him inside. He'd already known of the fire that had taken both Dean's mother and home, but seeing the remnants, even years later, only made him feel worse.

* * *

Dean had been irritated all day. When Castiel had told him that he needed to talk to him the first time he'd seen him that morning, Dean had snapped at him.

He'd sulked throughout his classes and lunch. Cas had approached him twice more that day, but Dean had turned away.

Once the final bell had rung, Dean had changed for football practice and had been the first one into the weight room. He worked hard, pushing his body past its limits, getting all his frustration out.

When the coach ended practice that day, Dean wiped away some of the sweat that had gathered on his face. He turned the corner to go to the locker room to find Castiel leaning against the wall. He glanced around at his teammates who were walking past him, looking back.

"I told you," Dean said, shifting on his feet, "I don't have time right now."

"Dean," Cas said, taking his elbow as Dean tried to walk away.

Dean shook him off with a glare. "Why can't you just leave it?"

"You don't underst—," Cas started.

"No," Dean interrupted. "_You_ don't. give it a rest."

"Dean," he sighed as the other boy turned away again.

"What?" Dean shouted, spinning around to face his best friend.

Castiel flinched and then clenched his jaw. He stepped forward, cradling Dean's jaw in his hands and kissed him.

Dean froze as the warm, chapped lips caressed his. He blinked and remembered where he was before he shoved Castiel back to the wall. The players that hadn't let yet stood around them, waiting for Dean's reaction.

"Why'd you do that?" Dean spat.

"Dean—," Castiel looked up at him, eyes widening.

"No," he said, stepping away. "Leave me alone, you—you fag."

Dean turned and walked away through the door into the gym. He'd almost reached the door to the locker room, when someone caught his elbow. He swung back with his fist, realizing seconds before his knuckles met flesh that it was Castiel.

The dark haired boy went sprawling, unprepared for the blow. He stared up at his friend, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Just leave me alone, Castiel," Dean said wearily. He turned and pushed the door open. This time Cas didn't follow him.

* * *

As always, remember to comment! Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, everyone! So there's two chapters left after this! I'm going to type them out ahead of time, but it's doubtful that I'll be able to post on Sunday due to personal reasons. So, I'll most likely be posting on Monday, but, since all of you have been so wonderful and understanding with my erratic update schedule, the last chapter is still scheduled for Tuesday and will be out as soon as I can that day! Thank you, again, everyone, and I hope you enjoy this update!

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Six

Dean settled Castiel on the couch. Neither of them had eaten lunch, so Dean made several slices of toast to make sure Castiel could keep his food down.

As Castiel nibbled on the edge of one piece, he watched Dean fiddle with the DVD player. Eventually Dean sat down beside him and pushed the play button. An episode of the original Star Trek series began.

Castiel bit his lip. They and their siblings had spent many times watching reruns of popular sci-fi shows when they were children. Their love for sci-fi had been one of the first things that they realized that they had in common.

He set down the half-piece of toast that he hadn't yet eaten on the plate and cleared his throat. "Dean," his voice cracked, but he continued, "I'm sorry about when we were growing up…and then what happened."

Dean sighed and leaned his head back. "I'm sorry, too. I was a jerk that day. It's no wonder that you didn't say goodbye," he tilted his head to look at the other man. "I'm not going to lie, though. I did blame you for a while after Mom died. Everything just seemed to go to shit after you left. And then, when I felt like I needed you most, I couldn't get to you. And I didn't think I deserved to."

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Castiel said, nudging his side. "Especially in public like that. It was my last chance, though. I'd been too afraid to tell you before. I should have forgotten about it when you were avoiding me and just told you we were moving."

Dean wrapped an arm around Cas' shoulders and pulled him against his side. He pressed the smaller man's face into his shoulder. "It's not all your fault. Cas, …something had happened and I was really confused and angry. It was the worst timing and I wish I could go back and change it.

"Now, relax and watch some Star Trek," Dean said, keeping Castiel still against him. Slowly, he melted against the man's body.

Cas hadn't realized that he'd dozed off until Dean's ringing cell phone woke him. Moving as little as possible, Dean answered it, speaking quietly.

"Hello? ...Hey, Sammy," Dean whispered. "Yeah, it's not such a great time...We'll reschedule dinner for another night. Tell Dad for me, will you? …Tell Jess that you still don't deserve her…Shut up, bitch."

Dean hung up the phone and put it back on the coffee table his feet were resting on. He settled back in and rested his head on top of Castiel's.

"Was that Sam?" he asked, voice thick from sleep.

Dean jerked. "Son of a bitch," he cried. "Cas, how long have you been awake?"

Castiel shrugged. "Just since the phone. What time is it?"

Dean relaxed back in the couch and checked the time on the television. He'd changed it from Star Trek to some doctor drama on cable. "7:17."

He sat up, stretching his back. "I should get going. Can you drive me home?"

"If you like, I'll make dinner for you," Dean suggested.

"Are you sure?" Cas asked, hands fidgeting in his lap. "I don't want to be a bother."

Dean shrugged and stood up, heading to the kitchen. Cas followed, but Dean motioned him to sit down on a stool by the counter. A cordless house phone was sitting in the charger by the wall beside him, with a pad of paper and pen beside it. Both the pen and pad said 'Volunteer Fire Fighter.'

"You volunteer at the fire department?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean answered, tilting his head so Cas could still hear him and he could look to see what he had in the freezer. "It seemed appropriate."

He took a bag out that was frozen and changed the subject. "Mom started to teach me how to cook a little while after you left," Dean explained as he took out a pan as well. "Is spaghetti okay?"

Cas nodded.

Dean turned on the stove and crossed the room to take out the noodles. "After she passed away, I took care of Sam and Dad for the most part. Dad was pretty torn up. After I got the job at the school and Sam went to college, he moved in with Bobby. I moved here and Sam came, too, after he could live off campus."

"So you enjoy cooking?"

Dean grinned. "It reminds me of Mom. Do you remember when we would get home from school and she would be singing as she made something for us?"

Cas smiled. "Yeah. She watched Sam, Anna, Jimmy, and us while my dad and, later on, Gabriel were at work. She told Jimmy to stay away from her pies, just like you."

Dean dumped the noodles in the pot and sat on the counter beside Castiel. "What about you? Besides school, what have you been doing since the old day?"

Cas shrugged. "We went to Boston and I stayed there for college. I didn't really do much in college besides work, though."

"Didn't party?" Dean asked, nudging him.

"No," Cas said, shaking his head. He stared at the pot on the stove. "I became even more antisocial after we left Lawrence."

Dean stilled beside him. Neither spoke until after Dean had drained the pasta.

* * *

When Dean left the locker room, Cas was gone. He couldn't help but be satisfied with that. His teammates had already started in on him. He walked home, cutting through people's yards as the sky darkened and the water from his shower cooled in his hair.

The Novaks' house was dark, but Dean paid it no mind as he jogged up the walk to his own. His bad mood alleviated some while he ate dinner with his family, but, as he went up the stairs to attempt his homework, his thoughts returned to Castiel.

He was his best friend. But he didn't understand how difficult it was to be friends with Castiel and be on the football team with a bunch of homophobic jerks. It had always been obvious that the boy had always been interested in other guys. And then kissing Dean?! The team was like a pack of wolves that would turn on a member at the first sign of weakness.

That night, Dean couldn't concentrate on his homework and tossed and turned the whole night. He got up the next morning and packed for the away game after school. Castiel didn't walk to school with him that morning and was absent in the few classes they had together. Dean didn't worry that much about it, still angry. He went to the game that night and the coach yelled at him for being distracted on the field. But they won, so Dean could look forward to not having punishment laps.

When he walked home that night, it was already late and both Dean's and the Novaks' houses were dark. He stopped in the kitchen on his way up. The house was silent as all but him were asleep. He stripped himself of all but his boxers and collapsed into the bed. He fell into a light, uneasy sleep.

The sun's rays woke him and he sat up feeling empty. He usually spent Saturdays with Castiel, but that was out of the question now. He crawled out of bed, muscles sore from the game and found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that didn't smell too bad.

Sam was watching cartoons in his pyjamas downstairs, a bowl of cereal in front of him. Dean went into the kitchen where his mom was doing their check book. He poured a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table beside her, but away from the receipts.

"Do you need me to do anything for you today?" Dean asked as he dipped his spoon into his breakfast.

Mary looked up at him with a sad smile. "Your dad forgot his lunch this morning. You can take it to him."

Dean nodded, curious as to why his mom had looked at him with such sympathy. Did she know about what had happened between him and Cas? He finished his breakfast and washed his dishes. He looked back at his mom who was squinting at a faded receipt.

"Mom." She looked up at him. "I think Cas and I are going to take a break from hanging out so much."

"Oh, honey," she said, standing and crossing the room to him. "Didn't Castiel tell you?" They had to move away on short notice. They finished packing and left this morning."

* * *

Well, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to leave a comment!


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sorry! These last few weeks are killing me! I'm going to try to get the last chapter out tonight, but, after that, don't really expect any updates for anything from me. I have way too much on my plate at the moment.

Warning: There's a confrontation in this chapter with slurs. I apologize if it's triggering.

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Seven

Dean drove Castiel home after their dinner. Castiel got ready for bed, tired, despite sleeping for much of the day. He settled into his bed. The sheets were cool, but, instead of being comforting as it usually was, it only made him feel lonely. He hadn't shared his bed with anyone for over a year.

What made it worse was that Castiel was getting to know Dean again. With every passing moment he spent with the man, Castiel recognized his childhood friend more and more. The same friend that Castiel had spent so much of his childhood in love with. Almost from the moment a blonde boy had lay down on the grass beside him and made him talk. And now? Castiel couldn't deny that he was once again falling for him.

He slept fitfully, plagued by dreams of both the past and present. When he woke, he felt like he'd only slept an hour or so. Castiel shuffled through his morning routine, getting himself ready for school. It was only after he'd been looking for his jacket for several minutes that he realized what had happened. Dean had driven him home the day before. His car was still in the school parking lot and his jacket was still in his classroom with both his keys and phone.

Castiel sat down on his couch, head in his hands. If he walked, or even ran, by the time he got there first period would at least be half-way over. There was no way to even call in to tell them that he would be late. He sighed and stood to change his clothes so he could jog to school.

A car honked outside. Castiel glanced out and saw Dean in his long black car. He jogged down his steps and to the gleaming Impala. "Dean?" he asked.

"I forgot to tell you," Dean said as he turned down his radio. "I'll give you a ride to school."

"Thank you," Castiel whispered. He cleared his throat. "Let me get my bag and lock up."

Dean nodded and Castiel jogged back in. He took his bag from where he'd set it on the couch and locked the door from the inside. He ran back to the car and opened the door. He sat down and it creaked as it shut. Dean pulled away from the curb and drove down the street.

In the silence the music from the radio (Metalica, Castiel thought.) seemed louder than what it was. Dean was a good driver, though he had a heavy foot. Castiel idly wondered if that was what it would have been like to go to school together as teenagers.

Dean's fingers tapped the wheel faster as the school came into view. Castiel watched him bite his lip and glance his way. Castiel looked down, giving the man time to collect his thoughts.

"Would you like to carpool?" Dean blurted, words stringing together.

Castiel blinked. He'd been expecting something completely different. "Sure?"

Dean snorted as he drove behind the school. "Don't sound so certain, Cas."

The man laughed and Dean glanced over with a smirk.

"I've missed you," Dean admitted. "Don't disappear on me again."

"I won't," Castiel said quickly.

Dean parked the car and they both got out. He led them through the shop and to the hall. "Ready for today?" he asked.

Castiel shrugged. "My morning classes should be fine. I'll have to try to catch my afternoon classes up, though."

"You'll do fine," Dean said, walking with him down the hall. "I'll walk you to your classroom."

"Thanks," Castiel nodded. There were small clumps of students in the halls, waiting for their friends to get there. "What are—"

A hall over there was a crash. Dean and Castiel glanced at each other and jogged the rest of the way. Around the corner, they saw an older boy looming over an underclassman. He was leaning against the locker, glaring up at him.

"What's going on here?" Dean called, voice hard. The boys glanced over at them. The older boy sneered back down at the other boy.

"Nothing, sir," he called. "I was just trying to help him up."

"And how did he fall?" Castiel asked as they stood beside them.

The younger boy stood up, brushing dust off his pants. "James pushed me into the locker."

The older boy growled and stepped towards him. Dean pushed himself in between them, facing James.

"We're going to have to take you both to the principal," Castiel said.

James glared at him. "Of course you would take his side."

"Excuse me?" Castiel asked, truly baffled.

"You're a queer," he sneered. "You would stick up for another queer."

"I do not show favorit—"

"Come on," the boy shouted. "You're obviously a fag. You act like you don't know why we won't respect you. Well, it's because you're a queer! You're going to hell and we won't let you take us with you."

Castiel felt cold. He couldn't move or speak. He'd heard words like these before, but never directed to him.

"So, you're saying that you won't respect a gay teacher?" Dean growled, hands visibly shaking. The boy nodded, sneering. "Well, too late."

James did a double take. "What?" People were beginning to gather around them.

"Mr Novak isn't the only 'queer teacher,'" Dean said and glanced back at Castiel. "I am as well." He looked back at the flabbergasted student. "Now we're going to the principal."

As the two men and the boys walked away, several students clapped. Castiel glanced over and saw a blushing Dean staring at the ground. He hadn't known. What had changed in his friend?

The door to the main office opened before they reached it and one of the secretaries ushered them in and separated the boys. Bobby listened to what Dean and Cas had seen and let them go to their classes.

"Cas," Dean said as they walked together. "Can we talk later?"

"Yes," he nodded. "When?"

"After school? Your place?" Dean suggested.

Castiel nodded and they split off. Castiel climbed the stairs to his classroom as the bell rang. He walked in and turned on the computer.

"Good morning, everyone," he said as he walked to the front and began writing on the whiteboard. "I believe I assigned you reading last night. What did you think?"

* * *

Dean missed his friend. He drew away from several of the people he was friends with at school. He blamed himself for making Cas leave, but he was still angry with him for not telling him anything.

Everything came to a head a few weeks after the Novaks had left during a football practice.

Several of the guys were talking loudly and one called Dean over. He was grinning and that alone made Dean want to punch him. It only got worse when he spoke.

"I heard that the queer Novak's not coming back," he said. "Was he disappointed by your kissing skills?"

Dean's fists balled up as several of the guys around them made loud kissing noises. "Don't talk about him," he growled. The players cackled around them.

"What?" the guy asked. "Do you miss your little boyfriend?"

Dean struck out with his fist and, though they wrestled him to the ground, body aching from the hits they'd got in, the other boys were gasping and as battered as he was.

The coach yelled at them to stop and he and the assistant coaches pulled the boys off of Dean. He glared up at all of them, face tender from the punches he hadn't been able to block. "I quit," he spat and staggered to his feet.

He left the field and threw his uniform into the locker. He pulled his street clothes on and hefted his bag onto his shoulder. He left and began walking home. He was half-way there, legs trembling, when his mother drove beside him.

"Dean," she called. "Your coach called. Are you okay?"

He walked around to the passenger side and slumped in the seat. "I'm fine," he muttered.

Mary sighed. "He has to report you, Dean. He said that you'll be suspended and kicked off the team."

Dean shrugged. "I quit."

"Oh, Dean," she said, biting her lip. "What's going on? Ever since the Novaks left you've been so upset."

Dean looked down at his lap. "He kissed me, Mom. I hit him and told him to leave me alone. And then he left."

She hummed, the only sound other than Dean's voice and the car's engine.

"Mom, I…I really miss him and…I'm afraid."

"That you felt the same way that he did?" she asked gently. He nodded, unable to speak. "Honey, it doesn't matter if you're gay. Your dad and I are always going to love you. I just want you to be happy."

Dean bit his lip, a lump in his throat. "Thank you," he whispered. "Just…please don't tell Dad or Sam."

"Honey, it's not mine to tell," Mary replied. "I'm just happy that you confided in me."

Mary took him home and he spent the next several days there. She got tired of him spending so much time alone in his room and began teaching him how to cook.

A week after he quit football, she handed Dean a slip of paper with an address scrawled on it.

"That's where they're living now," she said, and he didn't need her to tell him who she was talking about. "If you need to, you should try to get some closure."

Dean tucked it into his wallet and asked her about a new recipe. He would take the paper out sometimes in the months that followed and think about writing him, but he would put it back, afraid that Cas would simply throw it away because it was from him.

The fire a year later rocked the Winchesters' world. Mary Winchester was gone. Dean found himself taking care of his little brother while their dad went out drinking every night. Then John's friend, Bobby (who they were staying with) dragged him home one night and made him remember the two little boys who'd just lost their mother.

John tried his best, but there were days that he could barely function. Dean knew he blamed himself. But as time passed, they slowly got better.

The first time that Dean tried to find Castiel was a week before his last day of school his senior year. H was in the school's library on one of the computers. He held the same slip of paper that his mother had handed him years before. His wallet had been one of the few things that he'd been able to save from the fire.

Impulsively, he looked up the area that was listed and found the high school there. They'd already held their graduation and Dean stopped when he saw a picture. It was of a pair of dark haired twins. One had his arm around his uncomfortable looking brother.

Dean's heart beat faster. It was Jimmy and Castiel. He bit his lip. Castiel would move on to new and better things and forget about his childhood best friend. And Dean? The most he could look forward to was going to a community college and working in a garage for the rest of his life.

* * *

Don't forget to review! Now I have to hurry and move on to other work and the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

I'm finally back with the last chapter! Fair warning, bit of porn in here.

* * *

Scars on our Hearts

Chapter Eight

Castiel didn't see Dean again that day until after school was dismissed. Ten minutes after the final bell rang, he gathered his things together and left the room. Dean was leaning against the locker beside the door. "You ready?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded.

"I'll see you at your place, then," he said, pushing away from the locker. He walked away to go to his car.

Castiel turned and walked the other way to go to the teacher's parking lot. He unlocked his car and sat down when he got there. Despite the nerves that felt like his stomach was filled with butterflies, he started the car and drove home.

By the time that he got home, Dean was already there, leaning back against his car. Castiel got out and led the way into the house. Dean shut the door behind them as Castiel put his bag and jacket on the counter. The house felt even more Spartan than it had the night before. As much as he had originally liked the house, it felt cold now. He motioned for Dean to sit down on the couch.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked. "Soda? Water? Tea?"

"No," Dean said, shaking his head. "Cas, can you…just sit down. Please."

Castiel eased down onto the other side of the sofa. His fingers tapped against his knee, only making his anxiety worse.

"Cas, please," Dean huffed. "Calm down. You're making me nervous."

He folded his hands together and tried to stop his shaking. "You said that you were gay?" he said, trying to get the conversation going.

"Yeah," Dean said, looking down. "Well, that's about half-true."

"When?" he asked, biting his lip.

"I realized it after you were gone," he answered. "I missed my best friend and…I finally let myself be honest."

Dean looked up and tugged Castiel closer. "I'm sorry, Cas. I was…scared. I saw how they treated you and I didn't think I could be as strong as you."

Cas stared up at him. He wanted to say so much, but everything was battling to be the first. Finally, one won out. "I loved you."

Dean winced. "I know," he whispered. "And I don't expect you to still be, because so much has changed, but I would like a second chance."

Castiel blinked. They'd subconsciously moved closer to each other till their mouths were inches away. Before he could let his thoughts and inhibitions stop him, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's.

This kiss blew their first completely out of the water. After a second's hesitation, Dean kissed him back, raising a hand to his jaw.

An arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. His mouth opened in a gasp and Dean deepened the kiss. Castiel wrapped one arm around his neck and tangled his other hand in his shirt, keeping him close.

They parted and Dean rested his hand on Cas' shoulder, gasping for breath. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?"

Cas huffed a laugh, arms falling to Dean's sides.

"Ever since I saw you in the Roadhouse that first night," Dean growled, nipping his neck. "I should have known that you weren't Jimmy. It felt like you."

"Dean," Cas gasped as his teeth scraped a spot just below his ear. His hands tightened around Dean, pulling him closer.

He pulled back slightly, easily keeping still, despite Castiel trying to tug him closer.

"We need to stop now," he panted. "Or I'm not going to be able to."

"Dean," Castiel growled, changing his hold and pulling him down on top of him. "I'm not a blushing virgin. I've wanted this for years."

Dean laughed and stopped fighting it. Their bodies pressed together and Castiel found himself pressed down into the couch. "I might want to hear about all of your past experiences."

Cas rolled his hips and felt an erection to match his own. He sighed as Dean sat up and pulled his shirt off. Cas' soon followed. He leaned back down again, taking his hands and holding them above his head. "Why? I never felt for them the way I do for you."

Dean smiled down and kissed him tenderly. He left a trail of kisses as he moved closer to Cas' ear. "I might want to know what makes your toes curl," he whispered, breath making Cas shiver. "I might want you to feel so much that you pass out from sheer pleasure."

Cas bucked his hips up, nearly dislodging the man on top of him. Dean laughed as his legs fell to either side of the man's hips and leaned down, lips a hair from Cas'. "God, I've dreamed about this for ages."

"Tell me," Cas gasped.

Dean ground down, their erections grinding deliciously together. He groaned, shifting his hold on Cas' wrists. "Just like this," he whispered reverently. "For years, I've wanted you naked underneath me. I swear, for a while, you were the only one I could think of in this way."

"And now?" Castiel asked, trying to free his hands so that he could touch what he'd always wanted.

Dean huffed out a laugh. "I think that it's starting up again. It's been weeks since I could dream about anyone, but you." Dean nudged Cas' nose with his own. "I'll tell you all you want later, but it's been driving me crazy staying away from you," he separated Castiel's hands and slid them down beside him, still pressed to the cushion. "Especially when all I've wanted to do was watch you come undone."

Cas gave a valiant effort to turn the tides and have it be Dean's turn to be pinned down, but he only succeeded in rolling them off the couch. Dean was underneath him for mere moments before he twisted, his body pressing Cas down into the carpet.

"Ah-ah-ah," Dean smiled, kissing the tip of Castiel's nose. "You'll get your turn. Whatever you want."

Cas' brain derailed. _Whatever he wanted. _Dean winked down at him and ducked his head to nibble at his neck.

"Gah," he gasped, head tilting back. "You're evil."

Dean licked the rim of his ear and nuzzled against it. (Cas could feel his smirk.) "Let's see if you still say that in a little while."

Cas scrabbled at the hem of Dean's jeans. "Please," he whimpered as his fingers found the button. "I need you so much."

He forced the material down the man's hips. Dean stroked his hands down Cas' soft sides and rested them at his hips. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, only allowing a little of his anxiety and concern to show in his face.

Cas bit his lip. They couldn't go back from this. Whatever he said would influence which direction their friendship would take. "Dean," he whispered, arms folding around Dean's waist. "I've always wanted this."

Dean jerked a nod and slid his hands to the front of Cas' pants. He smiled down at him as he undid the button and gripped the waist of his jeans and underwear. As Cas tilted his hips up, Dean slid the clothing down. Once they were past his thighs, Cas sat up and pulled Dean's clothes the rest of the way down.

Dean knelt before him, eyes caressing every inch of Castiel's skin. He leaned forward and kissed his lips, pushing him back down to the carpet.

"Do you have any lube?" he asked, rolling his hips down.

Cas tossed his head, eyes squeezed shut. "Too far," he gasped. "Please."

"God," Dean muttered as Cas wrapped his legs around his hips. "We've got to get that soon." Cas whimpered. "Not yet. Next time."

Cas tightened his legs around his waist, pulling Dean's body flush against his.

"Oh, dear God," he muttered as all of the delicious friction nearly pushed him over the edge. He held his hand up to Cas' face. "Lick," he ordered.

If Dean had thought that it would make getting to the best part faster he'd been wrong. Well, in a way. Cas closed his eyes as he craned his neck up. His tongue poked out of his mouth and began to caress Dean's fingers.

A gasp rattled in his chest as all of his blood left every one of his extremities but one.

"You're trying to kill me," Dean rasped as he pulled his hand away. Cas looked up at him with a lazy grin as Dean spat into his hand.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, still smiling.

Dean growled. "Let's see who comes first."

He wrapped his hand around them both, strokes quick. They were both left gasping for breath and hurtling towards a quick end.

Cas pulled him closer, blunt nails scraping lines on Dean's shoulders, as he rocked up into Dean's fist.

"Dean," he gasped, body writhing as his orgasm rushed through him. He felt the man go rigid above him seconds later before slumping over him.

Dean kissed him as he slid to the side, still gasping for breath. "I knew that I was missing something."

Cas slowly unwrapped his legs, muscles trembling. He bit his lip as the words fought their way to his lips. It was too soon, but he knew how he felt. Dean nodded, knowing what Cas was thinking and agreeing. He kissed him again, slow and deep.

When he pulled away, he lay his head on Cas' shoulder, body lax as it curved around the other man's.

"I'm going to have rug burn on my back," Cas said.

Dean snorted and chuckled, sitting up. He held a hand out. "Want to move?"

Cas nodded as he placed his hand in Dean's and let him pull him up. He led the way to his bedroom, falling back onto the large bed.

Dean whistled as he lay down beside him. Cas nuzzled against him, closing his eyes.

Dean smiled, stroking the man's hair. He leaned his cheek on the top of his head and wrapped his arms around his best friend and lover. "Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm still sorry about…what happened when you left," he said softly.

"It's okay, Dean," Cas tried to reassure him. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"No," he shook his head slightly. "Cas, there's something I need to tell you."

* * *

Red lips wrapped around him, making him squirm. The tongue undulated against his skin.

Dean bit his lip, rocking forward. It wouldn't take long. He looked down and met pale blue eyes. His best friend gazed up at him, lips wrapped around his cock.

Dean woke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. He swept a hand through his hair and shifted. The sheets between his legs were sticky.

No. He didn't just dream about Cas like that. Cas was his best friend. His _male_ best friend. Even if he was gay, Dean wasn't. He liked girls; had only been with girls.

He groaned as he lay back. The sun was beginning to rise. He'd have to get ready for school. He swore as he realized school also meant seeing Cas. He didn't know how he'd be able to face him.

* * *

Cas stared up at him

"I was scared," Dean said, finishing his story. "You meant so much and—"

"It's okay," Cas whispered, catching Dean's hand and squeezing it. "We're together now."

Dean smiled and nodded.

* * *

And that's all folks! I've had fun writing this and hearing everything you've had to tell me! Thanks so much for keeping up with it and I wish all of you in school luck on your upcoming tests!

PS: It's never too late to drop a line and give me some feedback!


End file.
